So the year is 2011, I have been through a lot, and it affected significant areas of my life. If you have been following this blog for a while now (well, just kinda started, but anyway), you know that my life got into an emotional and physical spiral from 2009 to this point.
I felt like I’m growing up way too fast, which is funny because, at 21, you are not ‘supposed’ to be a kid anymore. Even so, I felt like I’m going from being a 20-year old kid to a 21-year-old grown-up. Life moved very fast for me, which can be a blessing but also a curse.
Promo Picture we have used to promote one of the released singles.
After my emotional rollercoaster, me beating Anorexia and developing my new ‘persona’ in New York for six months, I decided to restart my music career from where I left it. I had three singles ready to go and promotional pictures from photoshoots that got me broke. So I thought to myself, why the hell not?
I released three singles that year, and the feedback was terrific. The radio loved it, the press wrote endlessly about it, I received a lot of attention from publishers, private companies, and other artists that wanted to work with me, whether as a songwriter or a producer. I had almost a full album lined up that I did with a so-called producer in Israel. He taught me a lot honestly, he was kind of my door to the music world, but, as you will find out later, I received tons of wrong advises from people I trusted on, and it burnet the crap out of me.
Back then, we relied on the radio as well as digital and printed press to measure a single’s success, whatever it means. It was way before iTunes kicked in, let alone Spotify nor Apple Music. These singles were played over and over again across national radio stations in Israel. It was a fantastic experience, but with that, of course, massive anxiety.
I think it was the first time life introduced me to career-related anxiety. I was experiencing some depression as a teenager (eating disorder results and such…) but not feeling anxious about anything. And nether less to say, IT CREEP THE HELL OUT ME.
Yedioth Achronot (ידיעות אחרונות) the biggest, most-circulated newspaper in Israel, wrote a two-pages long article about me. Wouldn’t that freak the hell out of you too? No? Is it just me? Ok.
Is that how being successful feels like? Why do these Facebook messages telling me that I’m an amazing musician scare me so much? Why the deal I just signed with one of the biggest wireless companies in Israel sent me to hide under my blanket? Why the booking confirmation of my concert at one of Israel’s most prominent music venues made me feel like I want to throw up?
I didn’t know what to do and what’s going on with me. Eventually, I did all of these things, but I never felt complete. There’s always something missing. I didn’t know what it was, but I knew I am unhappy, even though I’m living my dream.
I felt like I needed a change. A career change, a scenery change (yet again), and all the change you could throw at me at that time, I would have taken it. That’s why, later that year, and the beginning of 2012 (which brings us to the next blog post), I have arrived in London, with the best musicians that were hand-picked. We locked ourselves in the most legendary music studio (think Led Zepplin, Elton John, The freaking Beatless) to record my full, grown-up, yet pure, debut album.
More on London, my first album, this priceless experience in the next post. Have a pleasant Holiday, and thank you so much for sticking around with me through this journey.
Once again,if you survived until here, you are up for a treat, and some Hollywood material script called my life.
Be kind to one another.
xx
Love, S.
